So G is for Go and S is for Store,

those two blunt verbs by which Jesus prods the post-Enron likes of us to act out our faith in the unsullied promise of KOH, Inc. He needs brokers these days, fervent, faithful types who, exulting in his authority to keep KOH throbbing with life forever, will hit the highways and byways of all the nations to rope in new investors (Matt. 28:16-20). In case you were wondering, see Matt. 10 for the KOH, Inc. broker's guide. For the human resources manual check out Matt. 18.

No broker is worth her salt, of course, unless and until she sinks her own into the stock she's touting. Besides which, when it comes to the eternal fun of cashing in the investment at the heavenly banquet table, it's not just those others that Jesus is after. It's you he sees and me as well. So, says he, "store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not corrupt, where no crook of any variety, Enronic or otherwise, will ever break in and steal" (Matt. 6:20). For tips on trading in KOH, Inc. futures see all of Matt. 5-7. Matt. 13 gives you a general guide to KOH, Inc. operations in the present age, the aim being to keep you from being dismayed or distracted by the ongoing competition from the phony rackets that fill the world to the impoverishment of fools. For a grasp of how important it is to get cracking with your investments already now, be sure to see Matt. 25.

Finally, for a picture -- an everlasting icon of wise investors caught in the act, turn to Matthew 2. On their knees, they are. The lids of their chests are open. From them they take the gold, the frankincense, the myrrh, each to the last grain. They hold back nothing. And why should they? They know in Whom their future lies.

God grant us all such wisdom in these dirty, silly days. Amen. Since we're ending with wise men, allow a last thought about our friend and teacher, Bob. Did anyone ever push the KOH, Inc. investment with greater flair? He stands, we hear, on the verge of his great reward, the master chef packing pots and pans at the King's command for service at the King's banquet. There, waiting for him, is the Word Enfleshed whose grace it will be to find his pleasure in a Bertram soufflŽ, to enjoy Bob's words as we enjoyed them, yet vastly more so, He Himself being the subject of those words, the One whose glory they've insisted always on telling. To Bob be joy everlasting. Soli deo gloria.

Jerome Burce

a trustworthy accountant under pressure

Accounting For This Age
"The bottom line is greed," says Mark Harrison, a member of my parish who knows about bottom lines -- he is an accountant. Mark and his colleagues are the ones trusted to keep accounts honest. That someone must be put on guard shows how far greed's pressure will go.

Accountants do not normally receive much publicity. After this year, they would probably prefer that. Recent high-profile cases of dishonesty (see main article) have even moved Wall Street to advertise how it values honesty.

Because they are the guardians, accountants have their code of ethics. Mark explained to me, "The three words are objectivity, integrity and independence." "Objectivity" is set against being "friendly." The difference is between what you would do without influence, and what you do in order to please someone. "Independence" means there is no conflict of interest. Mark stresses how important it is that accountants' salaries and accounting firms' profits not be determined in a way that tempts them away from independent judgments.

Because of accountants' entrusted position, greed's pressure towards dishonesty comes directly at them. They feel the pressure because, "There are so many judgment calls. We have to ask ourselves, Do these complex financial statements fairly represent the situation?" So when push comes to shove, it comes to them. Pressure comes not only from clients. Within their own firms accountants have pressure to keep clients' business, which means to keep them happy.

But Mark reports there is already a wholesome counter-pressure. Accountants want "to get the old culture back, to do the right thing; to say, No." "The SEC is developing new and expanded regulation. And the accounting industry welcomes increased oversight, so there will not be as much pressure to turn your head." Mark, who clearly values integrity, thinks that in the future the profession will obtain a greater pride in integrity.

Credit Where Credit Is Due
It might seem that Christian theology borrows most of its terms from the legal field. Don't "guilt" and "innocence" appear frequently in the Bible and in theologies drawn from it? How about "laws," "penalties," "judgment," "transgression" and "pardon"?

But terms from other fields are also borrowed by the prophets, apostles and teachers to get their point across. So credit accountants for such useful terms as "debt," "gain and loss," "count," and "reckon."

Actually, while any theology can use legal terms, Christian theology really needs accountants' lingo. Legal terms cannot say what needs to be said. For example, it is easy to see that I can be innocent or guilty (usually the latter). But how can I be both guilty and yet innocent, which is the very promise the Gospel makes to believers? Or how can I be guilty really, and then just as really be changed to innocent? The law nearly chokes as it tries to say that.

But accountants have terms for this! Begin by translating the legal terms "guilty" and "innocent" into something financial. How about "bankrupt" and "in the black"? Now, can I be both bankrupt and in the black? Sure. An accountant would say, "Though you are bankrupt, enough wealth has been credited to your account that you are now in the black." Accounting describes that sort of transfer of value, as when the Lord, cpa, credits Abraham's faith as righteousness.

And that makes it useful for telling the Gospel. Something that was not mine is made to be mine. Namely, bankrupt as I am, yet I am in the black, because the riches of Jesus Christ have been credited to me. That is the grace the wise investors in Matthew 2 invested themselves in.

tbcm